I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
