I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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