so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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