I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Congratulations! We have a period
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
