she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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