but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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