Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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