i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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