So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
