im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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