I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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