Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
