if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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