this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize