Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
