My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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