No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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