I'm pants shitting drunk right now
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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