really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
