Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
