I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I wish there were birth control emojis
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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