She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
