I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Do vagina's smell?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
