Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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