Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He? As in you personified your dick?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
