I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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