eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize