new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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