i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
