Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If that was your dad, he is hot
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
