a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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