My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
