You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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