quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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