hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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