I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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