Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
