worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
