similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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