Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Don't make out with my wife yet
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
What drink are we having for lunch?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
