Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
