I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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