We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
