My nipple is on Facebook.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
