I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
