I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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