tell your sister to shave her snatch
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
