Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
