hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
