just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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