Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize