Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
false alarm, still single
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