ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
