It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just gift wrapped bread.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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