Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
