i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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