I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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