we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
