Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
