I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
