Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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