i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize